By: Leah Hovey
At some point in our lives, whether it be as a young child or an adult, we all wish we could live famous, extravagant lives. We are constantly surrounded by gossip, media and information in regards to what celebrities are doing. There are even specific circumstances that occur with certain stars that cause fans to experience extreme emotions for their idols. It can seem crazy how much we care about these people, but a lot of our love for them has to do with the desire we have to live their lives.
We idolize these athletes, singers, band members, philanthropists and admire how lucky these people are. We value how they are following their dreams and their glamorous lifestyle. They are doing the one thing they love. It is easy to envy them, to wish we could be like them by pursuing our dreams we gave up on.
The problem with this ideation, however, is we do not see the other side of it: the solitude, the effort they exercise to maintain their level of expertise, and the solitary traveling. If you view interviews, read memoirs, or look at social media posts; there is a sense of loneliness that comes with this fame. There is a point where companionship is more important than fame than following one’s dreams, and it is true that as humans we crave socialization.
Evolutionary psychology has proven that mammals (from small rodents to people like us) crave connection. We are automatically drawn to socialize and create intimate groups (Cook, 2013). This is primarily due to the fact of using each other for common resources but none the less we still need that type of human connection in our lives. For example, if you are in a relationship with your partner you are taking resources from them. Physical intimacy, respect, comfort and love are what we desire when we get into relationships. This is using your partner for their resources, but you are as well so in love with them that you are willing to give your resources to them too. This is how connection and companionship work.
We need to connect with others. Fame, money, power and status will only take you so far in life. This is why when we feel jealousy towards these famous individuals, we must remember that we too are lucky. There is always one person in your life, a companion, who truly loves you. The people you surround yourself with can make all of the difference when you think about the blessings of your life. You can be rich not with physical possessions, but with companionship.
With the theme of this month being companionship, I ask all of you to take some time to ignore the constant bombardment of media, celebrities and try to focus on the love you have in your life. You may realize just how lucky you are.
Cook, G. (2013, October 22). Why We Are Wired to Connect. Scientific America. Division of Springer Nature America, Inc.