Relationship Fantasy vs. Relationship Reality

It's not something new- you've heard it, I've heard it, the mailman has heard of it. You meet someone, you feel the feels, and then before you know it- you're head over heels. 

Many times- we idealize people who may not be a great fit for us. What happens is that sometimes we get caught up in what could be and fail to focus on what is.

 

What happens? We create stories in our mind about who we would like that person to be--but they may not actually be that way. We fall in love with the narrative we've created without actually noticing the in-between details of what we actually want and need. 

Ways to challenge the narratives and be real with yourself:

1. Know what you're actually looking for. Be specific- make a list of characteristics that you need. Focus on personality traits more than looks. 

2. Be patient with yourself and with others. 

3. Meditate before a date & try to stay grounded. Breathing exercises and grounding exercises (full body scan) can make a huge difference in how you show up. 

4. Take your time- don't jump into something too quickly. 

5. Make sure you're actually ready for a relationship. Baggage that goes unprocessed gets dragged into the next relationship. 

Want to talk more about this? Book a consultation call with one of our therapists: